My fellow Aries, Andre Ethier, celebrates today (April 10)!

Are this year’s Dodgers really doomed to go up and down constantly throughout the season until they wind up in the middle of the pack watching the Diamondbacks or Padres go to the playoffs? Can that really be the case?

I messed up the other day when I talked about how great our starting pitching is. (Jinx much, Pam?) I knocked on wood and everything! So now there’s no stopping hitters from all the other teams just trouncing us mercilessly, I guess.

We started off well Thursday (April 6) with a 5-2 win over the D’backs in Arizona. BOX SCORE I only kind of half-watched it around the latest episode of “Ted Lasso.” But Dustin May had another quality start, so that’s the only bright light in an otherwise dismal series in Phoenix.

On Friday (April 7), they nipped us, 6-3, with Clayton Kershaw not having his best appearance on the mound. But we were still in a one-run game until reliever Yency Almonte gave them an extra two runs in the bottom of the 8th. BOX SCORE

My hunch is that Kersh isn’t adjusting to the dreaded pitch clock well. He has a very deliberate and calculating delivery. It takes him a few moments to aim his slider just right. He likes to take a little stroll around the mound after stunning a batter with a delicious eephus. He’s also one of the best guys to pick off players at first that has ever played the game. So this rushed pressure of counting down the seconds is really (pardonnez mon français) FUCKED! It takes all the beauty and artful consideration out of pitching. Now it’s just hurl it and hope for the best, hurl it and hope for the best! (Plus, with all the talk of bigger bases and only two throws to first allowed, I have only seen one attempt at a stolen base this whole season! You’re destroying the most beautiful game, MLB assholes!)

My birthday (April 8) saw a wild one! Thor (Noah Syndergaard) pitched about as well as Chris Hemsworth would have. Staked to a 4-0 lead in the first, he wasn’t throwing lightning bolts, that’s for sure. Arizona took him for 8 hits and 6 earned runs in four innings. We ended up losing, 12-8. BOX SCORE

And then on Sunday (April 9), the Snakes sealed the series win with an 11-6 drubbing. Michael Grove gave up 9 runs on 9 hits in the first 3.1 innings. Yikes! BOX SCORE

Can we right the ship? Is that awful timebomb of a pitch clock going to destroy America’s Pastime altogether? We have 152 more Dodger games to go. We’ll see.