Utilityman Skip Schumaker didn’t allow any runs or give up any hits in his inning of “relief.”

Massacres abounded yesterday, with the Phillies creaming the Blue Crew, 16-1, and more layoffs at the Los Angeles Times, where I used to work. It was ugly.

At the Ravine, it was the worst home defeat since the Dodgers played at Ebbets Field. Yeah, that bad. It was so abysmal, Mattingly used utility player Skip Schumaker as pitcher in the ninth. (He did better than Brandon League, by the way.)

Over on Spring Street, the dimwits in charge of the Los Angeles Times (specifically Davan Maharaj, one of the biggest idiots I have ever met, and Marc Duvoisin, who may be an alien) sent a memo around to staff speaking of a “modest staff reduction.” Let me tell you, it is not “modest” when you’re the one having your entire life turned on its head. But those two imbeciles in charge are too stupid to realize how insensitive their language can be. Not only that, but in the same breath, they announced they’re hiring new employees to revamp the website. It makes me want to puke.

So, let’s just forget about Friday, okay? Let’s think of something good, like the fact that one of our Dodger broadcasters was elected to the National Radio Hall of Fame. Oh wait, it was Charley Steiner, who in the wrap-up of yesterday’s game said, “So the Giants scored 16 runs, 21 hits …” I swear it’s true.

The view from the top row of the Top Deck.

So, I went to the game last night. The bathrooms are cleaner and brighter, and they don’t sing “God Bless America” in the 7th-inning stretch. BUT my boycott still stands. I got the ticket for free (got a Sandy Koufax bobblehead, even), I walked to the park (super hot, almost passed out), and I didn’t buy any food or drink (brought my own water and helped my husband with his rabbit food). Net number of my dollars in their pockets: 0. (In fact, I came out ahead, moneywise, because I got a free lemonade for signing up as a designated driver.)

Let me tell you, that game was certainly worth the price of the ticket.

It’s official: The Dodgers are on fire! They beat the Phillies, 6-4, and won their sixth in a row.

To regain the lead after losing it to Zach Greinke’s generosity in the hit department (he gave up 12) and to hang onto it during serious late-inning threats, that’s a real team, with real superstar players, and real potential to win the division. This is the “Whole New Blue” they’ve been talking about all season. I have to admit, I’m excited.

Especially impressive was my first live view of the spectacular Yasiel Puig. Oh my goodness, that guy is amazing. I saw it at the game when he hit an 0-2 pitch sharply into left field for the tying and go-ahead runs. But ironically, I didn’t fully appreciate his talent until I got home and watched the broadcast of the game. At the plate, after swinging at two low-and-outside sliders (just what opponents have decided is his Achilles heel), the kid shot this look at the pitcher:

That look to me says, “You think you got me, but, uh-uh, I got you, sucker!”

My score sheets.

I’m impressed.

Then, Matt Kemp picks the Phillies’ pockets twice, easily stealing second and third, and comes home on a routine pop fly by A.J. Ellis, giving the Dodgers an insurance run and making the crowd go wild. It was quite a night. I even kept score.

Holy cow! Lots to say today!

First: Five in a row! Sweeping the Giants! Andre Ethier stolen base! Dreams do come true.

Andre Ethier achieves the first stolen base of his career.

In his career, Ethier had been 0-2 in stolen base attempts. Then last night in the 6th inning, he gets on with an RBI single to tie the score up and then has the audacity (mixed with a lot of luck) to steal second. Safe because the short stop dropped the throw, it was Ethier’s first robbery of his career (my husband says he “runs like a farmer”), and it set him up to score what turned out to be the winning run on A.J. Ellis’ double. The Dodgers win it, 4-2, to give Clayton Kershaw his first victory in many attempts and the Dodgers their first sweep of the Giants at Dodger Stadium since 2009. A pretty good night, I’d say.

Giants thrid-base coach Tim Flannery

Second: This Giants third-base coach Tim Flannery has his head up his ass. He’s posting on Facebook that the Dodgers lack “humanity” because they didn’t make a big deal of little Casey Johnstone donating the couple hundred bucks he made off YouTube hits on his “Go Dodgers” speech to Bryan Stow. Management invited the die-hard Dodger fan to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at Tuesday’s game, and on “Dodgers Live,” they did a big tip-of-the-cap to Casey for his generosity (even though Kristina Pink called Stow a Dodgers fan, then quickly corrected herself). But Flannery thought it should have been brought up when Casey was brought out to the mound. Here is his extremely poorly edited post:

Casey Johnstone is beaming after his ceremonial first pitch.

Tonight the Dodgers did something that really pissed me off…yeah they beat us, they are better this time around, but this is about other stuff..they honored Casey Johnstone the kid who made a video and gave his $200 bucks to Bryan Stow…but the Dodgers never ever mentioned What the kid did with his money, or Bryan’s name. I once had a Dodger broadcaster tell me ” we wish he would just go away”…..ok…more shows for Bryan…another way to shine the light, and to the Dodgers how you handled this pregame first pitch tonight….you just got me started all over again……we won’t go away, till you do what is right here..had your chance tonight……failed in the humanity department….

Now, I happen to believe with all my heart that the Dodgers should be taking care of Bryan Stow for the rest of his life. But I don’t think they need to publicly flagellate themselves (especially since it was Frank McCourt’s Dodgers that skimped on security that fateful day) every time San Francisco is mentioned. Also, it was Casey’s night, not Stow’s. He did a nice thing with the donation, but this night was about his own personal heroism for staying true to himself in the face of what I’m sure is the relentless teasing and mind-numbing taunts of “Beat L.A.” that he faces on a daily basis.

As for the “Dodger broadcaster” Flannery quotes, it would be unfortunate if he really said that (I’m assuming it was a “he”), but also, who knows what the context was? Besides, should the Dodgers be held liable for all the stupid things Charlie Steiner and Steve Lyons say? I don’t think so. I think Flannery might just be a big, illiterate jerk.

Last: I got handed some free tickets to tonight’s game (Sandy Koufax bobblehead night, you understand), and I’m going to go. I will NOT spend a dime while I am there, not on parking (I will walk), not on food (I’ll bring my own), and not on beer (I can wait ’til after and go to the Redwood). So this is NOT an abandonment of my boycott. Oh, and one more thing…Go Dodgers!