I’m healthy enough to pitch.”
— Josh Beckett

Dodger pitcher Josh Beckett

If that were true, why haven’t you been doing it?

Beckett turned in another meager performance last night, lasting only three innings and giving up four runs before being yanked for a “tweaked” groin muscle.

I for one am sick of this guy taking the mound. He is done. Finito. Beendet. Terminado. Lopussa. Berakhir. Doesn’t matter what language, it all means finished. Every time he pitches, the Dodgers are guaranteed to lose. (Well, to be fair, the Dodgers can lose just fine without him, too.)

Go take care of your groin, Josh! A nice, long vakay will do you good.

Moms throw the first pitch to their Dodger sons before a 5-3 victory over the Marlins.

The Dodgers made all their moms proud yesterday, with a 5-3 win over the Marlins. That’s nice. Let’s keep it up. And let’s not let Brandon League onto the field unless we’re up by more than 7 runs. OK?

That makes two wins in a row after an eight-game slide, so that’s a good thing. But tonight we again face a real team, the Washington Nationals. It won’t be as easy as the last two games have seemed.

I’m going to stop there, because I don’t want to jinx anything. Go Dodgers!

PS: My “Woo-Hoo Let the Dogs Out” post of yesterday got deleted from WordPress somehow, so that link no longer works. Sorry about that. 

Batting coach Mark McGwire

Now, it’s just getting sad. If the gazillion-dollar Dodgers can’t beat the lowly Marlins (who intentionally got rid of any talent they ever had), there is something fundamentally wrong.

What the hell is Mark McGwire doing to our batters? Who is he really working for to make all our batters suck? And how about that Ronald Belisario? If you are a couple of runs ahead, Mr. Mattingly, definitely bring in Belisario. He’s guaranteed to give up just enough runs to make you lose.

As my husband, the Dodger poet, said: “I had a feeling they might suck this year, but I didn’t think they’d suck this bad.”

Now, on Think Blue TV this week, Eric Karros pretty much assured us that the Dodgers would turn everything around, “just like the Lakers did.” (Kobe & Co. made it to the playoffs, after all.) I hope he’s right, but I’d like to see some proof they even have a spark of potential in them.

First! Get the f*#@ rid of BELISARIO. Never let him near a ball again.

Second! Only use Brandon League if you have a 5-run or more lead (maybe 6).

Third! Try hitting when men are on base. That’s usually the way ball games are won.