We’re No. 1! We’re No. 1!

Us Dodger fans haven’t been able to say that all year, until now. As I write, just 2½ hours before the Dodgers start their second game against Toronto, the Blue Crew is in first place. Last night, they mopped up against the Blue Jays, 14-5, for their 21st win in 26 games. At this rate, we’ll end the season with a 100-62 record. I can dig it.

Meanwhile, the Chicago Cubs beat the Diamondbacks, 4-2, so they fell behind the Dodgers by half a game. (Ordinarily I hate anything that starts with the C-word, but I’m a Cubs fan as long as they are playing the D’bags.)

This game was a blowout of a different kind. The power came from where you least expected. Five RBIs and a two-run homer by my favorite catcher, A.J. Ellis. Two doubles by Andre Ethier, who seemed to be hustling like we didn’t know he could. (He scored three runs.) And the capper came when Skip Schumaker, who before the game lamented that this could be the year he doesn’t hit any home runs, smashed an inside pitch to the right-field bleachers to drive in the Dodgers’ final three runs. “This isn’t the one!” he screamed as he raced back into the dugout with hugs and high-fives coming at him from every direction. “This isn’t the year!”

Speaking of Schumaker, he made perfectly clear his feelings on the use of performance-enhancing drugs, the Biogenesis investigation and Ryan Braun’s suspension for the rest of the season:

Dodgers utility man Skip Schumaker

“I can’t stand it. It needs to be eliminated from the game. I have an autographed Braun jersey in my baseball room that I’ll be taking down. I don’t want my son identifying what I’ve worked so hard to get to and work so hard to have — I don’t want him comparing Braun to me.

“In my opinion, he should be suspended, lifetime ban. One strike, you’re out. It’s enough. It’s ridiculous. You’re still doing this? This guy is one of the main guys that are the face of the franchise and the face of baseball. For him to do this and maybe get caught twice already is ridiculous. … He lied. He lied to a lot of people. I was convinced, after that MVP, that he didn’t do it. I think he should hand over that MVP to Matt Kemp.

“Suspend them all. It needs to get out of baseball, so how are you going to do it? I know we have an agreement; we all agreed upon the agreement — 50, 100. I thought that was enough at the beginning of it. But apparently not. Watching him talk right now makes me sick.”

I hear ya, Skippy! Couldn’t agree more.

It’s one thing to cheat, and another thing to lie about it. But it’s a whole different ball game when your lies ruin the professional reputation of an innocent man while letting you walk away scott-free.

Well, your mendacity has caught up with you now, “MVPiece of S*#t”.