Dodger outfielder Yasiel Puig takes a breather after sliding into third base during a game in Chicago.

Sorry for the delay, everybody. I had important business to take care of, and my blog went silent for a few spectacular days. I wasn’t just lounging around on third base, like some Cuban phenoms we know. I was legit busy. (Although I did manage to catch a few innings over the weekend.)

Well, I got my wish! We swept those stinkin’ Cubbies, a four-game brooming! That makes me so happy, because, as you know, I HATE CHICAGO! Here are the box scores for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Next, the Cardinals, but they’re not going to go down so easily, I fear. We squeaked by in the first game yesterday, 3-2, thanks to the best hitting pitcher in baseball, Zack Greinke. And we have Clayton Kershaw (NL pitcher of the month) on the mound tonight. But the Cards are a tough-playing team. They always have been.

Oh yeah, except for that one time — remember? — when we swept them in the playoffs!

Everything about Chicago sucks.

I know, I know. There are those that love the Windy City, those that think it is the best burg in the world. “My kind of town,” blah, blah, blah.

I am not one of those people.

I hate Chicago. I hate the word Chicago. I hate almost everything that has ever come out of Chicago, starting with the Tribune Corporation. Their fucked up Chicago ways screwed over one of the best newspapers in the country, and one of the best places to work.

I blame all of Chicago for that.

I know it’s irrational and perhaps a little closed-minded to write off an entire city for the misdeeds and avarice of one company, but few have ever accused me of being rational and open-minded.

Anyway, my hatred for Chicago makes me want the Dodgers to bulldoze over that cesspool of a city’s little darlings, the Cubs.

It’s true that I have a weakness for the underdog in most cases. And the Cubs could certainly be seen as baseball’s biggest underdogs. But I want us to crush them. I want them to cry after we sweep all four games. I want every Cubs fan to wish they had never even heard of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

That being said, I’m very happy our guys pulled out a come-from-behind win yesterday, 6-4, over the Cubbies. Keep it up!

Yasiel Puig surprises Mark Ellis from behind as Ellis bobbles the ball and the Yankees score two. Photo by Gina Ferrazzi/Los Angeles Times

You take the good, you take the bad,
You take them both and there you have
The facts of life, the facts of life!

 It’s a fact that the Dodgers will not win every single game they play.

After sneaking by, 3-2, in the first game of this two-day visit from the Yanks with a walk-off RBI single by Mark Ellis, it was almost fitting that the end of the second game come in the form of a costly error by the same Mark Ellis (although in my opinion, the mistake was all Yasiel Puig’s). Final score: New York 3, Dodgers 0.

But if it makes you feel any better, we probably wouldn’t have won anyway. The Yankees had already scored a run when, with two men on, Ellis and Puig collided in right field while trying to catch what would have been the third out of the top of the ninth. And with New York closer Mariano Rivera on his farewell tour, you know we almost certainly would not have scored anyway.

But, hey, it’s just one game, one of only seven lost in the last 34. That’s pretty spectacular, if you ask me. It even has Steve wondering if we shouldn’t cave and get a miniplan after all.

So far, I’m hanging tough.

Ian Kennedy has been traded to the Padres.

Public Enemy No. 1 Now a Padre
That’s right, folks! The D’bags traded our favorite beanballer, Ian Kennedy, to San Diego. Without Kirk Gibson behind him, I wonder if there will be as many head shots.

I’m glad Ian is getting back to Southern California. Maybe it will bring back the mellow surfer in him, instead of the head-hunting monster. He didn’t seem to be the same guy once he got to Arizona.

I hope he thrives in San Diego and does even better than he did in 2011. Just stay away from the heads of my Dodgers!