Mob scene at the Top Deck entry gate.

Whatever $tan Ka$ten and his brain trust have been doing to “enhance the fan experience,” I got news for them: It ain’t working.

I have waited in line to get into the stadium before, but this was RIDICULOUS! I had flashbacks to the Disneyland of old, when you stood in the hot sun waiting for a seat on the Matterhorn ride.

This is the Dodgers’ “enhanced fan experience.”

Steve and I got to Chavez Ravine two hours before the first pitch last night, only to be greeted by an hourlong wait just to get into the gate. This is no hyperbole. We got to the steps up to the Top Deck plaza and were greeted with a choice of two lines: one went down the stairway to Reserve Level and then all the way across the Reserve Level lot. The other wound around the handicap ramps from Parking Lot P up to the plaza in front of the Top of the Park gift shop.

I realize it was a giveaway night (zip-up hooded sweatshirt, score!) and they have these new ticket scanners — apparently slower then good old fashioned people. And I don’t know if this particular torture was just for poor Top Deck fans (can’t imagine hoity-toitys on Field Level abiding this kind of treatment), but this was the most miserable I have ever felt at Dodger Stadium, and that includes the time the Yankees came back from a five-run deficit in the ninth inning. Remember that, Jonathan Broxton?

I was so worn out by baking in the afternoon sun while waiting to get in, that I was too tired to stay for the whole game with the Tigers, which we won, apparently, 3-2, on a walk-off double by Carl Crawford in the 10th. Happy Birthday to me! (I would normally watch the end of a game I was at on television, but as we all know, “enhancing the fan experience” also means denying 70% of L.A. the opportunity to see the Dodgers on TV.)

As for the Team …
I love A.J. Ellis, and it breaks my heart that he is injured and having knee surgery. I hope he recuperates well and comes back to us soon.

Dee Gordon is a pistol in the leadoff spot. Holy mackerel, way to start the game with a rare and unlikely line-drive homer. Good going, little man!

Dan Haren makes a nice addition to the rotation so far. His first two starts have been pretty good, and we need the stability.

Go Dodgers!